That crush we do nothing about

A few years back,
 i met a person.
that somehow,
change the way i see things.

The first time i saw him,
i was mesmerized by his smile.
i found myself always looking
for his smile and his eyes in the crowd.

I kept my feelings bottle up
because i knew deep down inside,
i would never stood a chance with him
we were only destined to just know each other like this,
that our path just a cross over.
No one need to knew
and it should just remain as like that.

I never thought that this feeling would stay,
i already knew him quite well
and we get kinda closer somehow.
The feeling was there.
But i refuse to water the seeds
to prevent it from growing.
i wanted it to remain just like that.
As he's with her now which was good.
Because at the very least,
i know how to put some boundaries there. 

I was never the jealous type.
I always remove that kind of feeling everytime i felt it.
But somehow, i felt that on him.

I felt this sense of jealousy
when any other girl try to get close to him.
I get jealous of the way he treated them,
giving those friendly gesture.
I tried to brush it off everytime i felt it,
but it was there, and it still are.

I remember those day we spent some times together.
We just going into my favorite stores,
I kept seeing this and that.
He took one or two of the clothes and giving it to me,
just to tease me but i show it to him.
How the clothes fit to my body.

And i remember that day
where we just watching some singing clips.
And i guess the only why i watch this show now is because it reminds me of you. And funnily everytime i visited that store, it kept remind me of those happy times. And somehow, i kept those memories close to my heart. 

I like to talk to him on certain things

He was a good listener and a good adviser.
We love to argue and fight
and talk about those random things.

He always know what to say.
He always know how to make me feel better.
And i did took advantage on this friendship.
I helped him when he need someone
but i felt like i never was there for him.
I admit that somehow this friendship
has giving some technicolor in my life. 

He told me that i deserve better.
He told me that 'waiting for something unsure is exhausting
He told me to move on and focus on bigger things.
He told me that he will always be here,
He told me he supporting any decision that i choose.
And he did. He did. 

I knew that anyone could said it

But it wasnt what he said,
It was the way and how he said it.
I liked the way he treated me.
He always asked me how my day was 

whenever we had a chance to talk
He makes me realize somehow,
that there are a better man out there for me.
That i deserve way better than this.
All this time i always thought
No one could make me feels this way
But he did.

I knew that i was broken when i met him
I knew that i was disaster when i knew him
I almost make him as my rebound
But then he don't deserve this.
He deserves better.
He was not suppose to be hurt this way.
I meant it when i said that
she was lucky to have him
and i hope she know it
and i know she would never hurt him.

I was glad that somehow i knew him.
I was enchanted to meet him.
I kept all those memories close to my heart.
He makes me feel wonderful and appreciated.
Something that i did not felt quite a long time.

I like him.
I really really do.
But somehow,
it is time to face the truth.
I would never be with him.